Tricks and Treats
by TentativelyKate
Summary: It's Halloween, and I figured I'd have a little seasonal fun with my favorite elite squad. Then it got random. TO THE PERSON WHO CANNOT SPELL ANONYMOUS: WARNING! DON'T READ! IT'S A PARODY AND YOU MIGHT JUST TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!


**_TRICKS AND TREATS_**

_(disclaimer: I'm afraid these costume-clad cops are not mine. So I can dress them up, but I can't take legal responsibility for their actions while in the costumes. This might be a good thing.)_

"My coffee's name is Nelson." Munch said, looking happily up at his partner. "I named him Nelson because he is like Nelson Mandela. He is black and he will make me do great things."

"Not again..." Fin buried his face in his hands, letting out a groan. "Just drink the coffee before you get any weirder, John."

"As you wish." John took a long swig of the coffee. "Nelson has sacrificed his humble existence so that I may go on and see great wonders and do great deeds. Nelson has given me a special gift."

"Now shut up until the coffee takes its effect, okay?" Fin said, turning back to his paperwork. "Honestly, I don't know how I put up with you in the morning before your joe."

Munch nodded hastily, looking down at his own paperwork. "Nelson is still within me. He wants our souls to unite in eternal bonding-"

"I said enough!" Fin screamed, covering Munch's mouth with his hand.

"Will you two morons stop clowning around and address your paperwork?" Cragen stepped from his office, looking pissed as usual. "I need at least one team to finish their files before the hour is up."

"How come the pressure's on us?" Fin asked. "I thought you always got the files from Benson and Stabler first."

"They're too busy playing footsy right now." Cragen said, rolling his eyes and stalking off, looking ever-pissed.

"Why is he always described as being ever-pissed?" Munch asked. Fin clapped happily, now that his partner was back to his normal coffee-filled self.

"Because he is." Kate the author said from her giant author cloud of authority in the sky. "Now, speak again and suffer my wrath."

"Damn. She is totally onto you, man." Fin said, leaning forward.

"I think she digs me." Munch said, grinning widely. Fin sighed.

"Did you get the memo about the Halloween thing?"

"The one where we have a party, and wear costumes, and act like a normal office?"

"Yeah, that one."

"No, I didn't."

"Oh." Fin pulled his copy from under the pile of papers. "We're having a costume party for Halloween."

"And why the hell would we do that?"

"Because Cragen says so." Fin narrowed his eyes. "I think we should take every opportunity of his non-pissiness as we can, and this is one of them."

"Well what am I gonna do?" Munch cried. "I'm a friggin Jew!"

"So?" Fin shrugged. "Halloween's a pagan religion."

"Is it?"

"Yeah. It's one of those holidays anybody can celebrate."

"Like Kwanzaa?"

"No." Fin shook his head. "You have to be an African-American to celebrate Kwanzaa."

"Then how come I celebrate Kwanzaa?"

Fin raised an eyebrow. "I have no idea."

"I guess it's just another excuse to drink. Like a St. Patrick's Day in the winter."

"I thought they ate, like, gourds and lit candles."

"How am I supposed to know? You're the black guy here, not me!"

"I haven't celebrated Kwanzaa since the fourth grade, John."

"Were you in a pageant?"

"What?" Fin raised his eyebrow again.

"I remember doing a pageant about Hanukkah once when I was about nine. I got to be Moses." Munch grinned. "I got to wear a fake white beard, and carry a big stick, and everything!"

"I didn't know Moses had anything to do with Hanukkah."

"Me neither. But I still got to wear a fake beard, so I was totally cool about that."

"You gonna wear a fake beard for this Halloween thing?"

"I dunno. I was thinking more along the lines of…" He took a deep breath, lowering his voice. "FRANKEN-MUNCH!"

"Dramatic." Elliot said from the coffee machine, looking over his shoulder.

"Sounds stupid to me." Fin said, staring down at his paperwork. "How about you be like a filing cabinet or something? That's pretty damn scary."

"A filing cabinet…" Munch thought for a moment. "What about an in-sink disposer?"

Fin gave him a skeptical look. "How would you do that?"

"Tin foil. And maybe a silver top hat with holes poked in it."

"Yeah, right." Fin scribbled something onto his paper. "You'd like the tin man imploding."

Munch shot him an angry look. "Well, I don't hear any brilliant costume ideas coming out of you, Mr. Critical!"

"I'm waiting for true inspiration." Fin stuck his tongue out at him.

"Like in a dream?" Munch snorted. "Yeah, like that's gonna happen."

"Maybe it will. And maybe it will kick your costume's ass!" Fin shot back, glaring at his partner.

"Oh yeah?" Munch said, jabbing a pencil at Fin. "Maybe my costume will blow the competition away!"

"How much are you gonna bet?"

"Fifty dollars!"

"How about five-hundred?"

"How about five hundred fifty?" Munch offered, scribbling the amount down. "Five hundred fifty bucks says my costume wins the costume contest."

"What costume contest?" Olivia had suddenly appeared behind Fin. He turned to look up at her, only to find his head level with her boobs. Realizing what he was staring at, she let out a grunt of disapproval and moved back, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Fin scowled.

"**_This_** costume contest!" Munch cried, brandishing his coffee and the piece of paper. "We're going to vote on the best costume for the Halloween party, and I'm going to win!"

"Yeah, right." Olivia rolled her eyes. Fin was still trying out his x-ray vision on where her arms were folded.

"I sure as hell am too!" Munch yelled, pointing his finger at her. "What costume do you have in mind, missy?"

"I have no idea. I don't even read my memos."

"Well, if you want to win the big prize, you're going to have to develop some sort of outfit." Munch said, folding his arms across his chest.

"What about a hooker?" Fin suggested innocently.

Olivia gave him a disgusted sneer. "As if."

"What about a fantasy warrior babe?" Munch thought for a moment. "You could be Xena, warrior princess!"

"Or a torture chamber mistress!" Fin joined in. "With a whip and-"

Olivia glared at both of them. They shut up.

"Now I've decided to wear sweatpants and a turtleneck." Olivia said, smiling smugly. "Thanks for the inspiration, guys."

As she walked away, Munch punched his partner in the shoulder.

"You blew it man! Now we're never gonna see her-"

"What do you mean **_I_** blew it? I wasn't the one who suggested Xena!"

"And **_I_** wasn't the one who suggested a hooker and stared at her boobs!"

"Let's face it." Fin stared at his paperwork, letting out a sigh. "No matter what happens, we are never gonna see her with her shirt off."

At that moment however, fate worked in its normally mysterious way.

As Alex exited her A.D.A. office a few blocks away, late for a meeting at the station, she was looking the other way at the ass on an extremely well-built lawyer who was chatting with his friends. In doing so, she did not see the group of other lawyers that she knocked over, spilling extremely hot coffee all over her designer blouse. She then ran the two blocks down to the station, her chest on fire and her entire top half feeling like it was experiencing radiation damage. She was going so fast in order to get a new shirt that she thought she might have left in Cragen's office the other day (though she couldn't remember what it was doing there nor why she had taken it off in his office) she didn't see Dr. Huang standing in her way at the front of the squad room. She knocked him to the floor, and before he fell, he grabbed the closest thing to him. This was Olivia's front. In doing so, he ripped her blouse open, revealing the majority of her black bra to the entire squad, gaping at the doorway where the three were now falling. This all happened in about 8.9 seconds, amazingly enough.

"Holy shit." Munch dropped his coffee all over his pants.

"It's like a friggin miracle." Fin's jaw had dropped open, and he was quickly moving towards the camera phone in his pocket. He snapped a number of pictures before Olivia's blouse was closed and she'd sworn loudly, then sent them to his closest friends, his mother, and a few national news networks.

None of them actually took the pictures seriously, especially his friends, who knew Fin would never ever convince a woman to take her shirt off for him, and his mother, who screamed when she saw it, then laughed when she remembered her son was such a wanking wet noodle.

But we don't' need to go any farther into this, because Olivia had turned on her pissy glare stare and outdid Cragen's pissy glare stare (and if you can outdo HIS, that means TROUBLE), and the squad knew that an inferno was on its way. So everyone went back to what they were doing and pretended nothing had happened, except for Fin and Munch, who were giggling to themselves like a couple of middle school boys in the locker room changing for swim class.

The rest of that day was typically uneventful. A woman came in wanting to get a rape kit on her daughter, who was 11 and pregnant, but pish-posh, that's old and boring news. A man came in with his you-know-what's cut off, but oh well, been there, done that. And a number of dead women were reportedly tied to their bathtubs and dressed in black lace and chains before their heads were chopped off. But hey, it happens.

The next day was equally uneventful, until something remarkable happened. This was Fin and Munch actually having paperwork handed in on time.

This owed mostly to the fact Olivia was doing it, now that Fin had blackmailed her with the photos and threatened to release them to the public, porn magazines, and a number of important people if she didn't do what he asked. Fin had already released the photos to these sources however, so her efforts were fruitless anyway. But, as Fin's brilliant plan had guaranteed, Olivia didn't know that, and what she didn't know couldn't hurt her.

Olivia found out though when Cragen asked her to sign his copy of Wild Wild Vixen Cops volume 9, issue 35, which was featuring her picture, now digitally altered to get a little more flesh in there and actually remove the entire cup from her bra. Cragen was a regular subscriber to this magazine, and although he'd collected every edition, he had to say that he'd never been more pleased to finally see a familiar face in there. Olivia had thrown the copy in his face and threatened to burn his chair and take his left shoe though, so he'd eventually stopped the begging and pleading on his knees.

The station was turned upside down for a few days, especially when Alex lost her glasses and crawled on the floor velma-style in order to find them. Luckily for her, no Scooby Doo villain narrowly missed her when he peered out from the nearest dusty curtain and reached for the back of her orange turtleneck. When she finally got her glasses back on, Alex looked in the mirror and swore never to wear an orange turtleneck again, as it clashed with her skin.

Fin and Munch were now hanging out around the lockers more often, determined to get Olivia's combination and steal her bra. Now that it had become famous on the covers of Wild Wild Vixen Cops, The Voluptuous Arm of the Law, On the Job Topless Babes, and Bad Girls At Work, they figured selling it would get a pretty hefty sum of money. Plus Munch had promised a prize for the contest and had yet to come up with one, so he figured like a thousand dollars would be good.

Halloween arrived though, and Munch had not managed to get a hold of any lady's lingerie. Everyone shuffled into their offices, all in low spirits considering no one had come up with a costume yet and they had about 9 hours or so to do it. They weren't designers, they were cops, so 9 hours was not nearly enough.

Fin decided to actually try the dream technique by falling asleep at his desk and pretending to look like he was deep in concentration. Unfortunately, Cragen saw through his PMS excuse and made him go sit in the bad cop corner for a half hour, with no toys. Fin didn't get any inspiration at his desk, so he just slept in the corner, hoping for a miracle.

Munch, who wasn't doing his paperwork, was scribbling all over the place, attempting to sketch his costume ideas. But no one could tell what they were anyway, even though Elliot was pretty close when he guessed a 'giant bird thingy' for Munch's mothman costume.

Alex had been working in the squad room today. She was avoiding her office with a passion based on her previous experiences, as well as the fact as she had just found out the guy with a cute ass was gay, and she was slightly traumatized. Since she'd been pressured into costume-designing by Munch, she was biting her lip trying to find a costume fabric over the internet.

Everyone else was actually focusing on their work, or at least appeared to be. Munch saw Olivia flipping through a copy of **_Sex on Halloween: How Roleplaying Fetishes Can Be Fun On Holidays_**, though he didn't know if that had anything to do with costumes exactly. This didn't matter to him. Her partner was hiding a duck head under his desk, and Munch knew exactly what that was about. He smiled to himself, glad to have converted another to costume making, until he saw that the page Olivia was reading was titled: **Have Your Partner Dress Up As A Duck and Then Make Wild, Unchained Love. **And then Munch just felt sick.

Cragen came out of his office, looking extremely pleased with himself. Everyone looked up and seeing this pleasedness, knew something bad could only come of it.

Cragen gave them a smug smile. "Well everyone, I have good news."

"It's break time?" Munch asked, leaning back in his chair.

"You got me a new partner?" Fin cried.

"Someone found my thong?" Olivia asked.

"I was only imagining that whole time I slept with you?" Alex looked up from her computer desk.

"I'm not really gay, and I have affections for my chair?" Dr. Huang asked.

"You weren't the one in my window taking pictures of me and Olivia doing it last night?" Elliot offered.

Cragen shook his head. "No to Munch, as if to Fin, I wish it'd been me and no to Olivia, sorry but no, we did to Alex, definitely not to Huang, and yes, it was me in your window taking pictures of you and Olivia doing it, Elliot."

Elliot let out a sad sigh. Olivia gave him an angry look and started mumbling about 'you saw someone watching us doing it and you didn't say anything to me?' to which he started mumbling 'you always tell me not to break your concentration.' Everyone glared at them since they were mumbling loudly and no one else wanted to hear that kind of shit, so they lowered their voices and continued to argue about it, even though Fin was leaning as far over in his desk as possible to eavesdrop.

"So do you actually have any good news?" Dr. Huang asked hopefully.

"Sure I do." Cragen smiled again. "I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico."

Everyone groaned simultaneously.

Minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into long uneventful periods of time. Soon, it was time for everyone to go home, find a costume, and come back. For some, like completely unattached Alex, this would mean finding a clashing outfit and calling it monstrous. For others, like Munch, this would mean deliberation, organization, and above all: drugs.

The squad room was dark for a few hours as everyone slowly shuffled out, looking just as tired as when they'd shown up that morning. A few random nameless members of the squad stayed back to like decorate and set up the station, even though most of the party would be spent out at a nice restaurant down the block. Cragen had told everyone that if they showed up to eat in their banana suits, he was going to pound his pissed fist into their skulls, so most people showed up at the restaurant with their costumes in their cars.

Munch was the first to arrive. Keeping his costume on super secret probation was very important to him, so he duct taped his costume inside a trash bag to the car seat, and then padlocked the car door. When he stepped inside, he had to turn right around and double check the car twice to make sure no one could see it.

Next was Alex. She had also decided not to wear her costume, and had stuffed it in her trunk, next to a few bottles of Ketel One and Olivia's thong. Although she knew perfectly well how the Ketel One had gotten there, she had yet to figure out what Olivia's thong was doing in her car trunk. And then she remembered Elliot and Olivia emerging from her car trunk a few days before, looking disheveled and thoroughly pleased with themselves. And then she puked all over her designer blouse.

Speaking of thongs and such, Cragen shuffled into the restaurant, looking pissed. His costume had gotten ripped in the dry cleaners, so there was a big hole in the ass that he didn't want to talk about. He was in street clothes though, so no one said anything, and eventually avoided his eye when it started glowing red and twitching.

Olivia came in just as everyone was starting to order drinks. While Alex had gotten ice water, Munch a Sam Adams, and Cragen a strawberry milkshake with whipped cream and a cherry, Olivia went straight to the goods and ordered herself two Jack Daniels. Everyone sort of gaped down the table at her, especially when she started chugging the first one for all it was worth.

Elliot showed up, and Alex, Cragen, and Munch all looked away as he pinched Olivia's bare leg, her dress now pulled up to her thigh and working its way north as they spoke. Elliot was dressed in a yellow shirt and light yellow pants, which made everyone do a double take. But then they looked away again as his hand moved towards Olivia' thigh once more, and Cragen casually suggested he sit them across one from one another, because he couldn't see the door to the kitchens with Elliot in his way. Even across from one another though, they were still making trouble as they began playing a classic game of footsy.

Dr. Huang snuck in beside Elliot, looking nervous. Apparently his costume was being sent to the station. And he had no idea if it was the right one. He buried his head in a Heineken and looked forlorn, knowing he wouldn't win the contest tonight.

They were already on the salad, discussing the cable guy that kept stealing stuff from Cragen's apartment, and the time Alex had to get a guy out her window when her mom dropped by, when Fin finally arrived.

It was pretty hard not to notice him.

He was a giant drinking glass.

Munch's jaw dropped. Alex started to choke on an ice cube. Cragen's eye started glowing red and twitching. Olivia removed her hands from under the table and Elliot lost his look of orgastic satisfaction.

"What the hell is this?" Munch finally gasped. Fin stared at him, a mixture of disbelief and pride.

"What? You don't know what this is?" Fin looked offended.

"A giant glass of water?"

"It's iced tea, dumbass!" Fin shouted, squishing Olivia into the wall as he sat down beside her. She pushed the felt straw out of her way so she could breathe without inhaling his costume parts.

"Iced tea?" Munch snorted. "What the hell kind of a costume is that?"

"It came to me in a dream." Fin said, sounding dramatic. "I was taking a nap, and all of a sudden it came to me. I should be iced tea. I was meant to be iced tea. Somewhere in an alternative life, I am iced tea." He let out a snort. "And YOU'RE intimidated, John?"

"More like amused." John started to laugh. "Iced tea! That's friggin hilarious!"

Fin began to growl.

Cragen's eye began twitching faster.

"What did I say about costumes?" He hissed through his clenched teeth.

Fin ignored him. He was staring quizzically at Olivia, who was looking very pleased with herself and letting out soft moans and gasps.

"Where's Elliot?" Alex asked. Dr. Huang looked next to him, finding an empty spot.

"Maybe he went to the salad bar." He offered.

"There's something on my foot." Cragen hissed, his eye bulging and twitching violently, making his cheek move up and down.

"Ow!" Munch shifted in his seat. "Somebody just stepped on my toes!"

"Mine too!" Fin gasped. "And it feels like their on their hands and knees!"

Alex grimaced as something was on her too. "It's like there's someone crawling around under the table." Alex stared into space for a moment. Then everyone got what she was thinking and looked under the table at once.

"ELLIOT!" Everyone cried simultaneously.

"What the hell are you doing under the table, El?" John asked, looking puzzled.

"Lost my…er…fork." Elliot said quickly, turning red and looking like a McDonald's sign in his mustard yellow shirt. Olivia was whistling and seeming to admire the fly in the corner of the ceiling.

Everyone fell silent, their eyes going from Olivia to Elliot. Then everyone sort of stared at their plates, the truth sinking in.

Alex coughed uncomfortably.

The silence continued for another minute.

Dr. Huang shifted his weight, clearing his throat and staring at his silverware.

"You like to…uh…camp?" Elliot ventured quietly, clearing his throat uncomfortably. Huang shook his head, still avoiding Elliot's eye.

"Hello folks! Here's your orders!" The waitress appeared just in time. If they had been left like that for another minute, Cragen's eye would have fallen out and Alex would have puked all over her little black skirt.

After dinner, everyone headed back to the station, where the party was going to begin.

And since nothing interesting happened from there to there, the author is going to skip to the first half of the party, when every random worker from the station is there, the live DJ is playing, and the place is starting to really heat up.

Let's describe the current situation.

Munch, in his box outfit, as he is the famous lived in a box man that no one but he read about as a child, is at the door, greeting people as they come in. No one gets his costume, and he is completely unaware of that.

Fin, in his iced tea costume, is being photographed by laughing employees, and making people run away from him when he starts to growl and flash his straw menacingly. He actually won the costume contest, but Munch gave him a used jellybean as the prize, which made him beat on Munch for an hour or so.

Alex, dressed in a Betty Page-esque dress and bunny ears, is being chased around by a number of drunk men. She is screaming as one of them pulls off her bunny tail.

Elliot is now wearing his duck head, and is hovering anxiously in the back, possibly drunk.

Cragen, dressed as Elrond, is holding a Bud, looking pissed as ever, especially now that someone is in his office, dancing half-naked on the desktop.

Olivia could possibly be the half-naked one dancing on his desk, because she is dressed as a bather and wearing a towel. Just a towel. The towel is duct taped to her, but just a towel all the same.

Dr. Huang is dressed as a pair of scissors. And he is making the moves on the chair next to him.

Munch ran up to Fin, grinning excitedly. "The guys from narcotics showed up! And guess what they brought?" He held up some plastic baggies of white powder. "Confiscated items!"

Fin gave his partner a high five. "Good, cuz this beer isn't making me nearly spazzy enough."

Cragen however, came to spoil their party, staring menacingly at them with his twitching red eye. "Have you two seen Stabler and Benson?"

Alex, who had been running around, trying to get rid of the drunks on her (literal bunny) tail, ran directly into Cragen, knocking him to the ground. While he has her on the floor, Cragen takes advantage of the situation, his hand going to her cute little bunny tail. She slapped him, cursed him, and threw him off her.

But Fin and Munch, always looking for trouble, go snooping around for Olivia and Elliot. Fin got the bright idea of looking on their desks. And there Munch discovers Olivia's roleplaying fetish book, opened to: **_Getting Down and Dirty in A Police Interrogation Room._**

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Munch turned to his partner, grinning.

"If you're thinking free porn, you know it!" Fin replied, starting to laugh like a middle school boy with his first issue of Penthouse.

They skipped (literally like bunnies) down to the interrogation rooms, freezing in front of the window onto room B. Because there, in some positions that won't be described in detail so no one passes out or gets me locked up or anything, were Olivia and Elliot.

"Holy shit!" Fin's jaw dropped. "That's…amazingly grotesque!" He grinned. "It's awesome!"

"You know what the best part is?" Munch asked, turning to Fin. "We can stand here and watch for as long as we want, and they won't know we're here!" He pointed to the window. "They'll just see themselves!"

And since the author really doesn't want to get into what Munch and Fin saw, she'll just write their comments.

"I didn't know that was humanly possible!"

"Well, possible or not, he's sure enjoying it."

"What's going on with his knee?"

"Jesus, she's got like the world's longest tongue."

"Holy…"

"Shit…"

"Golly…"

"Oh man…that's…that's rough right there."

"I gotta get me one of these books."

"Ohhh, I can feel that one."

"He's got her bad."

"Look at that! It's like yoga class!"

"How are they DOING that?"

"Oh god, not the duck head!"

"Look at her go!"

"Should I be taping this?"

"Yeah!"

"Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on…"

"Ooh baby, make me feel good tonight…"

"Stop doing that to me Fin!"

"Oh boy, she's at it again!"

"Ouch, that's gotta feel damn good."

"Where did he learn that?"

"Can you really bend it that way?"

"I'm gonna puke."

"She's so flexible."

"Oh no, not the wall…"

"Now the chair?"

"What CAN'T these guys do?"

"Ladies first…"

"No wonder Cragen's taping this! It's like the Special Olympics or something!"

"This is a disgusting display of perversion."

The boys turned at the sound of Alex's voice. Munch removed his nose from the glass, leaving a streak mark. And Fin, who'd been pressed up against the window to the point of pain, rubbed his back nervously.

"Yeah, uh, isn't it?" Fin grumbled.

"Yeah." Munch nodded. "Doing it right in the station. That's really…uh…gross. Yeah, gross."

Alex rolled her eyes.

"I meant you two watching. It's been what, an hour, and you guys have been here, happy spectators of the sex olympics?" She looked at her watch, looking disgusted.

Munch stumbled for words.

"The punch…and the bat…and then there was a…and then he…um…"

Fin joined in.

"So then I said to Munch…go tell uh…and we just ended up over here…and we flew a kite…um…and he's a jolly good fellow…and…uh…"

"You two are pathetic perverts." Alex folded her arms across her chest and stalked off. Munch stuck his tongue out at her as she left. Cragen was following not far behind, adjusting his pants and staring excitedly at her bunny tail.

**THE AFTERMATH OF ALL THIS:**

The day after Halloween arrived with relatively few aftermaths.

Okay, I lied.

Everyone was hungover from drinking and sugar highs, and everyone was in a bad mood. Which led to terror and horror and skeptical results of certain thingies.

But overall, there was not much more to it. There was the aftermath of Munch lying unconscious on top of his desk, his box costume ripped open and his pants pulled down, revealing spongebob boxers. Apparently, he'd never left the station last night and had remained in a comatose state on the desktop for the past 9 hours.

Across from him, Fin was sort of sprawled in his chair, his hair still wet from a shower that morning and his eyes closed. He'd had waaaay too much caffeine after mugging some trick or treaters on the way home and eating all their loot, and was currently only saying the words: "Glue stick." between long naps and loud snoring.

There was the fact that Cragen's office was now covered in disheveled pieces of Alex's clothing, and that she was crying at her computer for the whole day.

There was also the aftermath involving the home pregnancy test found in the garbage can next to Olivia's desk, and the fact she too was crying hysterically. This had made major news in the station, and everyone kept randomly peering into the garbage at intervals. Olivia quickly removed the package before anyone else could see it and threw it in her desk.

Fin, who had already gone through her garbage, swore he'd seen a positive on the indicator.

Elliot looked very very tired, and had apparently not been up to all the "exercise" he'd gotten last night. So instead he was staring innocently at crying Olivia, and telling himself that it wasn't his fault, even though it was his sperm swimming around in there. And he kept slipping Planned Parenthood fliers into random belongings of Olivia, hoping maybe she'd find one and not have to put him through what he was desperately hoping wasn't about to happen.

But when that didn't work, he started directing traffic outside the station, and kept yelling about crossing the green line and white space and Olivia eventually figured out that he was trying to tell her to have an abortion.

This followed up with much hitting and kicking and Elliot coming out bruised and sore and Olivia looking triumphant but still bitchy, and everyone stayed away from their desk for the rest of the day.

Cragen was hanging all of Alex's clothes in easy-to-see places so they would be in view for the next person who came into his office, smiling triumphantly and whistling Disney tunes.

Dr. Huang was currently in a dumpster in Queens, after an incident involving poking and the Japanese embassy.

And everyone decided that they would never EVER have a Halloween party AGAIN.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

-love kate-


End file.
